07 September 2010

The Right Choice

R and I have done long distance before, so I'm pretty well used to it. This past trip was different though, because I didn't cry at all when we had to separate again. Before now, I always have, and when I moved here, I cried a lot. Mostly because it was terrifying to move across an ocean to a new country, to start a job with people I'd talked on the phone with twice, to move in with roommates I only knew via email and facebook, and to leave R and the dogs behind to do it. I'm still pretty impressed that I chose to make this move in the first place, because there were definitely less scary options available.

This time, though, the only part of the return trip I dreaded was the actual trip, which was moderately un-fun, although way better than my last trans Atlantic adventure. I was looking forward to coming back to roommates that are friends, and a job that's awesome, and colleagues who are pretty awesome too. And I'll admit, escaping the heat and humidity was pretty thrilling. But I've been happy with my life and still cried when leaving every time before, when I was in grad school the first time.

This time, I think the difference is that I really truly love my life here in Holland, and while it would be better with R and the dogs, it's still pretty good without them. For the first time, I actually wanted to leave, because I'm excited about the next step in my research, and I missed my roommates, and I really missed the cool weather and my bike. Granted, I didn't actually go to work today, but I did sleep for 14 straight hours, so I think my body was busy recovering from my vacation. My very small bedroom feels more like home than the accursed house that hasn't sold yet. It also helps that we're planning to move R and the dogs after the winter holidays, so there's only a few more months of long-distance to go. His paperwork should be done by then, especially since he won't need the MVV and can skip that entire part of the process. Of course, we'll be adding all the fun of doggie passports and tranquilizers and crates to make up for it.

Not crying when leaving my best friend and my canine family behind tells me that moving here was absolutely the right thing to do. Leaving industry for academia was the right thing too, and that's very comforting, considering the salary differences. So weirdly, I'm grateful for being laid off, because I think my current life is a much better fit. I liked my old job, but I like my new one a lot better. I very much prefer my new city, particularly the bike-ability, and the charm, and the public transportation, and the little things, like flowers planted along the bike paths. And did I mention my hatred of hot weather?

1 comment:

  1. I would like to point out that you would have cried if I had gone into the airport with you. Don't try to deny it, I always know when you are crying, or about to. :P

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